Your ‘Trigger’ Is Your Treasure

When your stuff is triggered…ask yourself…what am I trying to uncover within myself, to reveal to myself, FOR myself?

Hold on the reaction…turn in for the response!.

You see, the things we get caught up on, that hook us as we struggle to come undone from them, are the very things trying to get us to LEAN INTO!

Often, our default mode is to react. We’re all guilty of it in a momentary lapse of our awareness.

My trigger today…this… “Be Who You Say You Are”, mixed up with a whole lot of fury.

Word for word, this reeled me right in…hook, line, and the rest…I'm still working through it tonight, to be honest. (Writing helps!)

My judgements on my trigger…

“Why can't you just be you?"

“Why are you trying to impress others with your bullshit?"

“Why are you so needy for acceptance of others that are completely insignificant in your world in the grand scheme of things?"

“You’re full of shit!”

“You’re a goddamn liar. Why lie about stupid trivial shit?"

“You dont even have a clue who you really are."

Yep, I know…harsh, harsh, harsh.

I found myself judging the shit out of a person/situation that had NOTHING to do with me…nada…not a thing!.

Had to sit in the shit pit for a bit before I realised I was even in it- again!

Witness the fact that it had taken over my sense of inner contentment from my day in a massive way, and then got well pissed off at myself for allowing THAT to happen again!!!

Caught it, turned in and sat with it…like a bitch with myself!

Basically when broken down…this is how it kinda goes for all of us…

My ‘inner volcano’ erupted (trigger central!), but I came to the realisation that my trigger was not the person, situation, or thing.

It never is.

My anger, frustration, irritation, and disdain were for all those times in my life when I was terrified to be ME!!!

And more so for how long I allowed that to have a hold over me.

Terrified of being my authentic self for fear of rejection, fear of feeling unworthy, fear of not being accepted – too much, too weird for people who didn't know me at a time in my life when I didn't even know myself!.

When I judged outside of me, I triggered my own stuff, detonated my own bomb! Re-opened wounds that I dismissed in the past, rather than love; hurts that I felt shame for at the time, rather than compassion for things I'd been through.

Sounds simple reading it, but when you're IN it – when you have bought into your own bullshit – it's a different ball game

The remedy… self-love!

When you realise you have touched the wounds of the past and they still sting a little, PLEASE… Give yourself in the present moment the gift of the love you needed back then.

That's how we close those wounds for good, so we don't end up bleeding on those in our present who didn’t cut us.